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Nectar Nightclub Blasts Ignorant Question From Bachelorette Party About HIV

A gay club clapped back at a bachelorette party who asked if the group would be ‘safe’ from HIV.

In a story first reported by Pink News, Nectar Nightclub in Manila, Philippines, shared a question the club received from a group of women who planned to bring a bachelorette celebration to the queer club.

“Is it safe here? Because my friend will celebrate her bachelorette party,” a woman inquired via Facebook.

Asking for clarification, the club responded, “What do you mean safe?”

“I do respect LGBT community. But I’m worried about HIV infection,” replied the woman. “Because a lot of gay now a days are vulnerable to HIV. I’m just worried that a lot of gays coming there has HIV. No disrespect and I’m sorry.”

Where has this woman been for 30 years? It is widely known that HIV cannot be contracted though casual contact like breathing the same air or drinking from the same glass. 

The club shut that foolery down and fast. “We advise you to read a little more about HIV before you infect our club with your stupidity,” wrote the management. “That’s more contagious.”

The communication ended with a simple, direct message from Nectar: “Take your bachelorette party to a straight club. Your business is not welcome at Nectar.”

In posting the exchange on Facebook, Nectar added this:

“As you can imagine, we were horrified that someone had the nerve to offend us while asking about a celebration with their “straight” friends within our LGBTQ+ establishment. Their ignorance about HIV was appalling and the audacious and casual tempo of thier shrieking insult to celebrate a party of marriage in one of our clubs when we ourselves don’t have the right to marry the person we love (here in The Philippines) was down right straight-privilege nonsense.”

Adding the perfect postscript to the story, Nectar also shared that the only time in the club’s two year history at its current location there has been a violent episode was when a straight boyfriend of a female bachelorette party attendee punched a go-go boy for giving the woman a lap dance. The go-go dancer had to be rushed to the hospital where he was treated for a severe concussion.

“We were gay-bashed in our own home,” declared the club’s management. “And you are asking about your safety?”

The club ended the open letter by calling out other establishments who “turn away our trans-sisters from your straight clubs.”

After over 550 comments on the Facebook post, some felt there was a ‘teaching moment’ missed in not taking a more educational route in the club’s response.

Nectar Nightclub stood resolute in their position issuing this statement:

“In response to our ‘Dear Straight Bigots’ post, we have received a lot of comments, mostly those in support of our Facebook reply, and some have brought up that it was a ‘missed opportunity’ to educate someone who didn’t know about HIV. We stand firm in our response and we will continue to stand next to and in front of our community as protectors and trailblazers of our right to exist. We will continue to create a safe and accepting party environment for everyone who walks through Nectar’s doors. For those who seek additional information about HIV we pass you onto the experts, Love Yourself PH and The Red Whistle, both homegrown NGOs which are pillars in our community for HIV advocacy, education and overall wellness.”

Much has been written about straight people attending gay bars and the proper etiquette folks should adhere to when coming to our safe spaces.

In case you missed it, here's one of my favorite essays, 'Dear Straight People,' on the do's and don'ts of playing in our sandbox.

(h/t Pink News)

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It's one thing to educate a five-year-old child who truly is ignorant about HIV; but it is another thing, entirely, to have to educate adults who should know better. Whether we like it or not, we all draw a line somewhere between seeing it as our duty to educate every person who demonstrates the kind of ignorance this bachelorette showed versus answering the way this club responded. The older I get, the more I take the club's view; and if anyone wants to lecture me about "missed chances," I offer to give them the offending party's contact information so that they can do these good deeds in my stead.

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Oh, for Christ's sake it's the Philippines! A country whose president shoots drug addicts and drug dealers with the approval of the population.  Unless the group of women involved were Rich World Travelers in Manila this story tells exactly what you would expect. 

They may be nice people there but it's not a first world country

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if that woman wants to be safe, then have the bachelorette in the church or the convent. for sure she will be safe

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