Ryan Shea's picture

5 Ways to Become a Very Basic Gay on Facebook

Are you interested in becoming your most basic self on a platform that was once designed for college students and has now become a gigantic s**tshow?

Have you ever gotten to a place on Facebook where you thought, "God, I'm tired of contributing my own brain power and unique thoughts in the world of social media,... how to I dial it down a bit and fit in with some of these other dudes?"

Well fear not, because I am here to show you the five easy steps you can take to becoming the most basic of gay men on Facebook. And it really isn't that difficult at all when you get down to it!

Read these five steps, study them, and by next week, you'll be racking up those "Likes" based on the most absurd and repetitive posts/uploads one can ever do. 


Step One: Check into your gym location at least 6 times a week!

This lets your "friends" know that you earned yourself that cheat meal (in this case, it's usually a healthy burger of sorts) because you recorded all your cardio sessions and included them in the post. Well done!

 


Step Two: Share a meme that's been seen in various forms for so many years.

"Shut up and give me my money," Homer Simpson backing into a bush, and so on and so forth. They usually coincide with the ones that are about "when you see a hot guy at the gym" or "leaving work early feels like..." 

 


Step Three: Post a shirtless pic of yourself and caption it with "Thirst Trap."

This lets everyone know that you are fully aware of what you are doing but that we love you for it anyway (okkkkkkkkk Honey).

 


Step Four: Share thousands of photos from your fifteenth vacation this year.

It basically tells your friends "sucks to be you right now!", when you are in Mykonos/Madrid/San Diego/Miami or someplace hot and they are in their cubicle.

 


Step Five: Send someone a photo of your nether regions which wasn't asked for and most of the time not wanted/needed.

In most cases, you'll be blocked faster than the time it took ABC to cancel Roseanne.


What other ways have you seen your gay friends being uber basic on Facebook?  What basic kinds of posts did we miss that make you think wow, I. MUST. LIKE. cuz it's so basic.


This was created by one of our Contributing Writers and does not reflect the opinion of Instinct Magazine or the other Contributing Writers when it comes to this subject. Also, this was meant to be funny. Please don't take any of it seriously or to heart!